I’m not sure where and it doesn’t matter to me (other than not wanting to come across it, once I post my own 😉), but my husband posted his profile on one of the on-line dating sites. When he told me, it felt like someone punched me in the gut! It’s almost funny to me in this moment. I laughed at myself when I wrote it just now. Geez! What did I expect? I knew it would happen eventually, not sure how either of us will meet someone new without using a dating service seeing as we both work from home. And, why wouldn’t we, honestly? It seems so normal these days, and I don’t know the first thing about being single or dating! I’ve only ever been on one first date before and it was with my husband. I had certainly thought about putting a profile up, I just hadn’t taken the actual step to do it. I wasn’t sure if it was time. I’m still not sure it’s time, but we must move forward at some point.
We both agree that there is no turning back, it’s the third time we’ve separated. We both tried so hard. There’s no animosity, there’s a true friendship between us and a deep love and respect for one another. That doesn’t change the fact that we want to choke the living shit out of one another while living under the same roof! LOL I’m kidding, but we are much better friends than we are spouses. Seriously!
I can’t lie and tell you it didn’t hurt like hell because it did and I’m self-sworn to tell the truth on this blog.
We spent the last 19 years of our lives together and that’s more than 1/3 of my life! But, it’s time to move on and carry on. I’m okay and I know I will be okay. I’m 100% certain I will be okay. I need to adjust to a new normal and invest in me. I’ve never done that before and I’m looking forward to seeing what blossoms in me as a result.
I’m going to feel my feelings so I can move past them. I’m gong to be loving to myself and spoil myself in the ways I’ve always wanted to be spoiled. I’ve been updating my wardrobe, which hasn’t been done in YEARS. It’s fun to have new clothes and care about how I look. I’m realizing I now I have time for me. I didn’t have that before, as a mother of five, always being a caretaker. This part is super cool! I’m going to enjoy the unfolding if it, gosh darnit!
The greatest most wonderful parts of ourselves are right on the other side of what challenges us (and possibly hurts us) the most. I’m on my way to a better version of myself as a result of where I’ve been, what I’ve learned and whatever comes my way. There’s something great on the other side of healing.
If you connect with any of this, you too are on your way to total domination of awesomeness! No matter what you’re going through!
So much love and so many blessings to you. 😘😘😘